North Carolina General Assembly Tries To Slow Down Divorce Process

Late last month, legislators in North Carolina took an unusual step of trying to create a new two-year waiting period before a divorce can be finalized. The decision grabbed headlines not only in North Carolina, but also across the country with articles puzzling over the legislature’s attempt to meddle in marriages. Beyond imposing a two-year waiting period before a divorce is allowed to become official, Senate Bill 518 would also require that couples who are considering divorce go through marriage counseling before a judge could officially sign off on the divorce.

The bill, known as The Healthy Marriage Act, was crafted to help support the institution of marriage according to its Republican supporters. The measure would replace the current one-year separation requirement that is currently in place. The Healthy Marriage Act also states that couples would be permitted to either live together or apart during the waiting period, meaning that cohabitation would not be seen as a block to divorce.

The legislation goes on to say that before a divorce can take place, one spouse would have to submit a written notice to the other spouse notifying them about his or her intention to file. This would then begin the two-year countdown. During this interim period, the couple would be required to take classes designed to improve their communication skills and work on their conflict resolution abilities. Thankfully, the Healthy Marriage Act does not require that the couple attend the classes together. If the couple has children there are even more hurdles to be cleared, including a four-hour course that discusses the impact of divorce on children.

The backer of the legislation says that the state’s divorce rate is already far too high and the measure is an attempt to try and reduce the problem of marriages ending in divorce. The sponsor of the bill says that he believes that by slowing down the process of divorce, more couples will consider reconciliation, something that he believes is better for everyone.

Opponents of Senate Bill 518 say that the measure represents the height of governmental meddling in personal affairs and that the state should stay out of marriages entirely. Others emphasize that the attempt at strengthening families comes too late in the marriage when the spouses are already fed up with one another. Earlier intervention and counseling might help, but to try and save things so late in the game is often a futile effort.

If you find yourself facing the prospect of complicated divorce and have questions about your rights and options, contact an experienced Ohio family law attorney who can help guide you through the difficult process. Count on the expertise of Twinsburg family law attorney Carol L. Stephan.

Source: “N.C. Lawmakers Propose Two-Year Waiting Period Before Divorce,” by Jacob Gershman, published at WSJ.com.

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What’s “nesting” and does it work in an Ohio divorce?

The idea of nesting, which has been discussed in pop culture recently (think the Gosselin family) began as couples tried to come up with a way to keep their children’s lives stable despite the turmoil of divorce. The term “nesting” refers to what happens when exes share or rotate through a single home that their children live in full-time. The goal is to avoid having the children live out of a suitcase, creating much needed stability in a time of enormous change.

Family law experts say that nesting can work well in some cases, but be a nightmare in others. In marriages that fell apart due to violence or damaging addiction, continuing to share a home would not be a good idea and would likely make things more difficult for everyone. In cases where exes are amicable after the split and have the financial resources to make it work, nesting can lead to truly collaborative co-parenting. Some people say in cases where the exes are able to get along and have the financial wherewithal to do it, nesting can be ideal for children.

Despite the good news, it does not mean that nesting is easy, even if you are one of the few couples that can still get along after a split. Coming to agreement on important issues after you’re divorced can be hard, even in the best cases. Certain issues will have to be overcome to make the nesting process work and some of the questions you should ask include the following: Who will be responsible for housekeeping and household maintenance? Who owns what and who has the right to make changes to the house? Who pays rent and how much is owed? Where will the other parent be when one parent is nesting with the kids? What about food, clothing and other basic necessities, how will those expenses be split?

Some other things to watch for if you’re considering nesting is that your children should not mistake this as a precursor to the two of you getting back together. Experts say that parents should remind their children that reconciliation is not going to happen and that the nesting is merely an attempt to make their lives easier.

One of the things that most often ends a nesting attempt is when one spouse meets someone new. If one spouse begins dating and wants to introduce a third party into the family home that can often kill the entire nesting experiment. Trying to navigate so many landmines can be dicey, but for some the hassle is worth it for the happiness of their children.

If you find yourself facing the prospect of complicated divorce and have questions about your rights and options, contact an experienced Ohio family law attorney who can help guide you through the difficult process. Count on the expertise of Twinsburg family law attorney Carol L. Stephan.

Source: “Dismantling the Marriage But Not the House,” by Katie Hafner, published at HuffingtonPost.com.

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How To Handle Spring Break In The Midst An Ohio Divorce

Spring break can be a crazy time for all families, but especially so for those families going through a divorce. Even in the best cases, having to juggle children between multiple houses, taking into account various schedules and conflicting vacation plans can be a chore. The problem is that many parents wait until the last minute to try and hammer out the details, which succeeds only in making a bad situation worse. If you’re willing to think ahead, taking a few steps early on can save a lot of hassle down the road.

First things first, to make spring break easier for the whole family begin planning what you’re going to do before the divorce is ever finalized. Try to come up with a vacation plan that will work for your and your soon-to-be-former spouse while you’re both still drawing up the parenting plan. Though vacations probably won’t be the most pressing concern, it’s still possible to set aside a moment to start planning for what you know will be a problem in the future. After all, it’s much better to get the kinks worked out now than to spend years arguing over the details. You and your attorney need to answer questions like what day of the week do vacations begin and which holidays are considered special and which will follow the normal parenting plan. There’s no right or wrong answer to the questions, they just are important issues that need to be covered to ensure you reach a comprehensive plan.

                     

Even if spring break isn’t spelled out in your parenting plan, you can still plan in advance. Parents should get together (or correspond) about their travel plans months in advance. Try to hammer things out well before spring ever rolls around so there isn’t any last minute hysteria. Not only will this makes things go more smoothly for you, you’re your kids will enjoy the structure and stability that comes with a seamless vacation.

Finally, while it’s great to reach a verbal agreement with your former spouse, it’s essential that you take the next step and put it in writing. Creating a document, even a very simple one, can make all the difference in avoiding fights down the road. Not only will it help keep things straight in both of your minds, but also if one party voices disapproval, the argument can be put to a stop quickly by busting out the written agreement.

While emergencies can happen at any time and throw a wrench into even the best plans, this should be the exception and not the rule. Taking time early on to work with a skilled Ohio family law attorney to iron out all the details of your divorce can avoid serious headaches down the road.

If you find yourself facing the prospect of complicated divorce and have questions about your rights and options, contact an experienced Ohio family law attorney who can help guide you through the difficult process. Count on the expertise of Twinsburg family law attorney Carol L. Stephan.

Source: “Spring Break Parenting Time Schedule,” by Matt Allen, published at Examiner.com.

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Throw Away the X Label

Labels. Married, divorced, single, separated, or just confused.  The labels can make us happy, jumping for joy, or sad, searching for the right tone of blues to match the crazy foul mood.  More labels.  Traditional family; non-traditional family; broken family; single parent.  The "X" label.  This one doled out to the former spouse and his or her family with hexes on all of their futures.  So, you say, it's officially "ex" and not "X", but the point is, the word is a lot like "crackle" or "boom" as the word "ex" sounds like its  meaning, onomatopoeia for the slashing or crossing out or deleting of the once special someone from your life script.

But there are children of Xs, and surely, no one wants a hex on their futures.  Throw away the X label, in both thoughts and words, and you might understand that your former husband or wife wants to do something in the best interests of Susie and Johnny.  Throw away the X label and you might find yourself talking to your former husband or wife (who have first names) BEFORE they do that something with Susie and Johnny.  Throw away the X label, and that special something with Susie and Johnny could include you if you want it to.  Just a thought. 

Ohio Supreme Court Hears Same Sex Parenting Case ~ In re Lucy Mullen

            I just got done listening to oral arguments before the Ohio Supreme Court regarding co-parenting between same sex couples ~ In re Lucy Mullen ~ heard on February 2, 2011.  The Court will render a decision soon, but thought I'd post the link to the arguments.

            Ohio biological parents can give up their custodial rights to children in one of two ways:  sign a contract doing so; or act in a manner that clearly indicates intent to give up custodial rights. 

            In this case, the mother and her girlfriend appeared to have every intention of co-parenting.  However, when the relationship soured, the mother sought legal counsel and refused to sign a co-parenting agreement with the girlfriend; this was a key fact for the lower court in deciding that mother didn't, as a matter of law, relinquish custody to the girlfriend. 

           

            Counsel for the girlfriend seemed to argue, in essence, that if  through your actions you agree to co-parent, that is the same as giving away or relinquishing custodial rights. And you can't later change your mind in the legal sense by refusing to put that agreement in writing. 

            I've wondered whether the Ohio Supreme Court might use this case as a basis, for public policy reasons, to adopt a bright line standard that says:  if you want co-parenting rights, you must enter into a written agreement.   After hearing the arguments, and questions by the Justices, I'm not convinced that will happen.   

           Though new Justice Yvette Brown alluded to the confusion created by the wide variety of ways people can come to court and now argue there is a  non-written but valid parenting agreement,  Douglas Dougherty, attorney for biological mother, stopped short of requesting a "gold standard" requiring written agreements in these situations.  Instead, he seemed to say that courts are equipped to determine whether there is an implied contract based on facts and circumstances. Chief Justice O'Connor also pointed out that having agreements in writing is not a cure-all (lots of written agreements end up in court) and, further, that courts are in business to sort through facts and access credibility.  

         Looking forward to seeing how the Justices bring clarity to non traditional parenting.  

Banned in Ohio - Smoking around your Child?

Sure cigarette smoking is still legal in the Buckeye State. But that does not mean you can count on lighting up when your child is near.

In Anderson v. Anderson, a southern Ohio appellate court recently upheld as valid a lower court's order requiring parties in a custody dispute to prohibit smoking around a child. That seems like a pretty broad no-smoking order. Not only are the parents banned from smoking around the child, they are also required to keep others from smoking around the child.

More noteworthy is that the Court did not have any evidence to suggest that the child suffered any physical ailments because of exposure to cigarette smoke. Instead, the court took judicial notice of the "avalanche of authoritative scientific studies" which indicates that secondhand smoke causes disease and is a danger to all children.

Ohio, like most other states, considers all "relevant factors" in determining parenting or visitation time and no one factor is the end all - instead, it is more of a balancing test. For example, the courts consider (among many other things) a child's adjustment to home, school and community, the geographic location of the parties, the child's interaction with others, whether a parent has any prior domestic violence issues, or any other factor impacting a child's best interests.

After the Anderson case, Ohio courts may place much more significance on whether a parent smokes near a child -even if they do not invoke all out smoking bans. It will be interesting to see how the law develops in this area and how smoking parents will react.

For more information, contact a family law attorney. Written by Carol L. Gasper, clg@clgasperlaw.com.

Parenting Time and Visitation: Should Ohio Employers be Required to Facilitate?

     Nothing is more precious than the time we spend with our children. Apparently some of Ohio's legislators have taken note.

    Ohio HB 40, introduced in late February of 2009 by State Representative Tom Letson and co-sponsored by 16 other State Representives, would require certain employers with 50 plus employees to allow a parent to exercise court-ordered parenting time without terminating employment, reducing pay, or taking other similar action against the parent.

     If passed, HB 40 would give irresponsible parents just one more way to escape obligation and pass it on to someone else: the employer. Parents have a high degree of control over what the court may order for a visitation schedule. First, the parents can agree on a visitation schedule taking into account each other's employment. Second, even where the mother and father are fighting about visitation, courts work to ensure parents time doesn't conflict with employment. If there is no way around a conflict, divorced parents, like married parents, need to make daycare arrangements.

     Not all family oriented legislation is bad. I contrast this proposed legislation with Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) requiring certain employers to provide requiring unpaid leave for the birth or adoption of a child; acquiring a foster child; the serious illness of a child, spouse, or parent; and, the serious illness of the employee. FMLA, in effect since the early nineties, works because it covers serious often unavoidable circumstances where time away from work is required.

     According to the Ohio Chamber of Commerce, which opposes the legislation, the Ohio Judiciary Committee "heard proponent testimony from two unions. Throughout the testimony several committee members on both sides of the isle raised concerns about the bill. The following concerns were raised about the effect of such legislation: 1) the prohibition of reducing pay for a parent who takes time off and does not complete a full work week, 2) situations under the bill where the only employees working on Saturdays would be those who were not divorced, 3) providing such a benefit to those divorced employees with children at the expense of other employees, 4) the lack of labor organizations negotiating such parenting-time provisions into labor contracts, and 5) the fact that no other state has enacted a similar proposal."

     The concerns raised by committee members are well-founded.  Why does Ohio want to be the first state with legislation that, in effect, benefits divorced employees at the expense of others? Hard to understand what is truly motivating this legislation.  Note to the sponsors of HB 40: parents, not employers, need to be responsbile for parenting time schedules.