Researchers Find That Combative Parents Stunt Kids’ Development

A new study supported the worry that many parents have long suffered with: that fighting between parents can have a decidedly bad impact on your children. Specifically, the survey found that arguments between parents could change the way children respond to stress, eventually even hampering the way some children develop problem-solving skills.

The study, which was published in the journal Child Development, devoted time to tracking a group of second and third-graders who were followed by researchers for three years. The researchers spent time talking to the children and asking them about their parents’ fights and then analyzing how that correlated with the kids’ ability to handle stress.

The study’s authors rigged up an elaborate diagnostic test that could monitor physical changes in the children, such as increased heart rate, pupil dilation and other signs that they were suffering from stress. The children would come into a lab and answer questions about their parents’ fighting while scientists would monitor the children for signs of a stressed out response and then monitor how they performed on a series of mental examinations.

The research discovered that kids who had a preexisting low tolerance for stress were especially vulnerable to being placed in a combative home. The results showed that children with a tendency to become stressed actually had their stress systems exhausted by angry parents, while those with a greater natural tolerance for stress appeared to suffer less stress burnout.

The study’s authors compared the children’s stress systems to overworked muscles. The author said that while working out is good for everyone because it strengthens muscles and improves health, if people were forced to run on a treadmill 24 hours a day it would eventually destroy the muscles from overuse, much like the kids’ stress response systems were being used and abused.

Beyond damaging their stress response system, the children with the highest degrees of burnout from argumentative homes also suffered in cognitive areas such as a decreased ability to problem solve. These children were found to lag their peers in problem-solving skills over the three-year span of the research. Researchers said they believe this shows that stress has a way of getting under your skin and impacting other areas of your life that you may not have anticipated.

If you find yourself facing the prospect of complicated divorce and have questions about your rights and options, contact an experienced Ohio family law attorney who can help guide you through the difficult process. Count on the expertise of Twinsburg family law attorney Carol L. Stephan.

Source: “Is Arguing Really Bad for the Children?,” by Terri Apter, published at PsychologyToday.com.

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How To Handle Spring Break In The Midst An Ohio Divorce

Spring break can be a crazy time for all families, but especially so for those families going through a divorce. Even in the best cases, having to juggle children between multiple houses, taking into account various schedules and conflicting vacation plans can be a chore. The problem is that many parents wait until the last minute to try and hammer out the details, which succeeds only in making a bad situation worse. If you’re willing to think ahead, taking a few steps early on can save a lot of hassle down the road.

First things first, to make spring break easier for the whole family begin planning what you’re going to do before the divorce is ever finalized. Try to come up with a vacation plan that will work for your and your soon-to-be-former spouse while you’re both still drawing up the parenting plan. Though vacations probably won’t be the most pressing concern, it’s still possible to set aside a moment to start planning for what you know will be a problem in the future. After all, it’s much better to get the kinks worked out now than to spend years arguing over the details. You and your attorney need to answer questions like what day of the week do vacations begin and which holidays are considered special and which will follow the normal parenting plan. There’s no right or wrong answer to the questions, they just are important issues that need to be covered to ensure you reach a comprehensive plan.

                     

Even if spring break isn’t spelled out in your parenting plan, you can still plan in advance. Parents should get together (or correspond) about their travel plans months in advance. Try to hammer things out well before spring ever rolls around so there isn’t any last minute hysteria. Not only will this makes things go more smoothly for you, you’re your kids will enjoy the structure and stability that comes with a seamless vacation.

Finally, while it’s great to reach a verbal agreement with your former spouse, it’s essential that you take the next step and put it in writing. Creating a document, even a very simple one, can make all the difference in avoiding fights down the road. Not only will it help keep things straight in both of your minds, but also if one party voices disapproval, the argument can be put to a stop quickly by busting out the written agreement.

While emergencies can happen at any time and throw a wrench into even the best plans, this should be the exception and not the rule. Taking time early on to work with a skilled Ohio family law attorney to iron out all the details of your divorce can avoid serious headaches down the road.

If you find yourself facing the prospect of complicated divorce and have questions about your rights and options, contact an experienced Ohio family law attorney who can help guide you through the difficult process. Count on the expertise of Twinsburg family law attorney Carol L. Stephan.

Source: “Spring Break Parenting Time Schedule,” by Matt Allen, published at Examiner.com.

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How to Establish Parental Rights for Unmarried Fathers in Ohio

Given that the percentage of children being born to unwed mothers continues to increase, an issue naturally arises in the context of family law and that is what happens when unmarried parents decide to split.

The law in Ohio says that when a child is born to an unmarried woman, she has sole custody of that child until the father has a court issue an order acknowledging his paternity and granting him rights. The law is clear that unmarried women who give birth are the default residential parent and legal custodian of the child until a family court judge issues an order designating another person the legal guardian of the child.

This should not be interpreted to mean that Ohio law says that unmarried mothers will always keep custody of the children. That’s absolutely not true. Once a father decides to go to court and have his paternity established, he is then able to request shared parenting. Except in exceptional circumstances, some kind of joint custody arrangement is usually established. In fact, in cases where the mother is either unfit or unable to provide a stable life for the child, the father might actually receive sole legal custody of the child.

There are several different ways paternity can be established in Ohio, even without a DNA test. The first way is through an affidavit acknowledging paternity. This is typically done at the hospital at the time of the child’s birth, but can also be done later at a county health department or local registrar’s office. The mother’s consent is required in this case and the father should know that he is giving up the option of having DNA definitively establish paternity, but this is a quick and easy way of establishing your rights as a father.

Another option familiar to most people is a DNA test. An order from the state can require parties participate in a DNA test to establish paternity. Many times this is initiated by a woman seeking child support, but it can also be launched by a father through a court action.

Once paternity is established this does not mean that visitation rights flow immediately to the newly recognized father. Legitimized fathers only receive visitation rights once there is a court order establishing them. If you’re facing a similar situation and want the ability to see your children, it’s important to speak to an experienced Ohio family law attorney who can help you navigate a custody challenge. If you find yourself facing the prospect of a custody dispute, contact an experienced Ohio family law attorney who can help guide you through the difficult process. Count on the expertise of Twinsburg family law attorney Carol L. Gasper.

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Custody Fight Over Whether Woman is Mom or Merely a Surrogate

As many people realize, whether you’re part of a traditional marriage, in a same-sex relationship or a single person who has always wanted a kid, there are now many more options than there used to be for raising children. One option that has been utilized by those who have had trouble conceiving is in vitro fertilization. However, a recent case that’s grabbed national headlines might have some couples questioning the process and raise concerns for those that have used it in the past.

The case involves a 48-year-old single woman who wanted a child. She found a male friend who was also interested in having a kid and they concocted a plan that would allow them to have a child together, platonically. The male friend agreed to pay for in vitro using his sperm and a donor egg that the woman would then carry to term. Everything went smoothly and the woman gave birth to healthy twins over the summer. Almost the moment after she had given birth the problems started. Apparently the man had different intentions than those discussed with his friend. A social worker appeared in the hospital room to discuss the “surrogacy situation,” a phrase that shocked the woman who believed she was the children’s mother.

The woman says that her friend, whom she only then realized was gay, had evidently been planning to raise the children with his male partner, not the woman who had carried them. While the woman was still hospitalized recovering from the birth, her friend had filed a lawsuit claiming that because the woman had no genetic ties to the children she should be stripped of any custody or visitation rights.

Right now the woman is allowed to see her children only two hours a day, six days a week. However, the battle is not over. The woman feels like her children that she worked so hard to have were stolen from her and her custody fight continues.

One of the biggest problems in this case for the woman is the lack of any written agreement. The woman says the arrangement she had with the father was entirely based on friendship and trust, and that she never thought a formal agreement would be necessary. Depending on the outcome of this case, surrogate mothers everywhere could find themselves in need of more formal legal protections if they want a relationship with the children they bear.

If you find yourself facing the prospect of divorce, contact an experienced Ohio family law attorney who can help guide you through the difficult process. Count on the expertise of Twinsburg family law attorney Carol L. Gasper.

Source: “Surrogate Fights Gay Couple for Child Custody,” by Wesley J. Smith, published at NationalReview.com.

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What’s a Guardian Ad Litem and Do You Need One?

Guardians ad litem are people that have been appointed by the court to represent “the best interests of the child” in court proceedings. In family court, guardians are appointed in contested custody and visitation cases, and cases where abuse or neglect has been alleged. Though guardians can be directly appointed by judges, in many contested custody and visitation cases the guardian is selected by the parties’ attorneys.

In these contentious custody cases the guardian is paid for by the parties. Though the guardian ad litem is typically an attorney, this is not always the case as anyone who meets the requirements can be a guardian in such cases (Ohio Superintendence Rule 48).

The guardian’s role is a bit of a mixture of investigator and advocate. Some guardians will tend towards one side and not the other; it depends on the circumstances of the case and the temperament of the individual guardian. Some are zealous advocates for the children while others act as reporters, documenting behavior and recording interactions between parents and child.

The guardian who acts as an investigator will try to develop a strong factual understanding of the life of the parents and child. Guardians are empowered to interview the parents and the children, observing them on multiple occasions and even conducting surprise home visits. The guardian can then present the court with information that a judge would want to know when making a decision concerning custody and visitation. The guardian who behaves more like an advocate can have more of a viewpoint, deciding which situation is a better fit for the child and attempting to influence the court to support this view.

Even the most balanced guardians can invariably influence judges in their final reports. A guardian whose final report that says the children are doing fabulously well with the mother or that the father is an alcoholic carries a lot of weight with judges and can ultimately be determinative. Such reports let the court know what’s going on so that they can make a recommendation as to custody.

As long as the guardian behaves appropriately, their view will typically carry great weight with the court. Given the influence they have with judges, a party in a custody or visitation dispute should be sure to cooperate with the guardian whenever possible. Make sure never to lie to the guardian and try to highlight the facts that you believe are important or that need to be investigated in the case.

If you find yourself facing the prospect of divorce, contact an experienced Ohio family law attorney who can help guide you through the difficult process. Count on the expertise of Twinsburg family law attorney Carol L. Gasper.

Source: “A Guardian Ad Litem Protects Best Interest of the Child,” published at OhioBar.org.

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