What’s “nesting” and does it work in an Ohio divorce?

The idea of nesting, which has been discussed in pop culture recently (think the Gosselin family) began as couples tried to come up with a way to keep their children’s lives stable despite the turmoil of divorce. The term “nesting” refers to what happens when exes share or rotate through a single home that their children live in full-time. The goal is to avoid having the children live out of a suitcase, creating much needed stability in a time of enormous change.

Family law experts say that nesting can work well in some cases, but be a nightmare in others. In marriages that fell apart due to violence or damaging addiction, continuing to share a home would not be a good idea and would likely make things more difficult for everyone. In cases where exes are amicable after the split and have the financial resources to make it work, nesting can lead to truly collaborative co-parenting. Some people say in cases where the exes are able to get along and have the financial wherewithal to do it, nesting can be ideal for children.

Despite the good news, it does not mean that nesting is easy, even if you are one of the few couples that can still get along after a split. Coming to agreement on important issues after you’re divorced can be hard, even in the best cases. Certain issues will have to be overcome to make the nesting process work and some of the questions you should ask include the following: Who will be responsible for housekeeping and household maintenance? Who owns what and who has the right to make changes to the house? Who pays rent and how much is owed? Where will the other parent be when one parent is nesting with the kids? What about food, clothing and other basic necessities, how will those expenses be split?

Some other things to watch for if you’re considering nesting is that your children should not mistake this as a precursor to the two of you getting back together. Experts say that parents should remind their children that reconciliation is not going to happen and that the nesting is merely an attempt to make their lives easier.

One of the things that most often ends a nesting attempt is when one spouse meets someone new. If one spouse begins dating and wants to introduce a third party into the family home that can often kill the entire nesting experiment. Trying to navigate so many landmines can be dicey, but for some the hassle is worth it for the happiness of their children.

If you find yourself facing the prospect of complicated divorce and have questions about your rights and options, contact an experienced Ohio family law attorney who can help guide you through the difficult process. Count on the expertise of Twinsburg family law attorney Carol L. Stephan.

Source: “Dismantling the Marriage But Not the House,” by Katie Hafner, published at HuffingtonPost.com.

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