How do you decide between separating and divorcing?

Anyone considering a divorce has likely wondered about whether separation might be a better idea. After all, divorce can be a relief for some couples who have grown tired of constantly fighting, but no one wants to rush into such an important decision with doubts. The following are some questions experts have come up with to help you think through the decision making process.

First of all, you need to make sure you understand what exactly is making you so unhappy. Taking some time to have a true separation and think through the unhappiness might be wise. If you are not exactly sure why you want to end your marriage, some time and space can be a good idea to help solidify your feelings before deciding to pull the trigger.

Second, what’s the underlying issue that has led to the unhappiness? Is it physical or verbal abuse? How about a gambling problem? Drug dependencies? Repeated cheating? Or is it something less terrible like communication trouble? The answer is not meant to demean those problems, but can help in deciding whether separation is a good idea. In cases where something dangerous like physical abuse or a drug addiction is at play, a clean break might be the best option for everyone involved. If the problem is something like a communication breakdown, a separation might be a good way to seek therapy and work through your issues.

If you have children, it’s also essential to consider how a split will affect them. For some kids, a separation might be a bad thing in that it provides false hope of reconciliation, especially if both parents know the marriage really is over. In other cases, a separation can be a good thing in that it ends the damaging fights and gives parents some breathing room to calm down and work through their issues on their own.

Finally, are you both sure that you are ready to split? If one spouse is still unsure, a separation can be a good way of letting that person get used to the idea of a new life on their own. It can also be helpful in giving the other spouse a taste of what divorce will look and feel like. In some cases, this might be enough to force the couple back together and make otherwise reluctant spouses willing to work through their issues. Unless both parties are really ready for a divorce, a separation might be a good place to start.

If you find yourself facing the prospect of complicated divorce and have questions about your rights and options, contact an experienced Ohio family law attorney who can help guide you through the difficult process. Count on the expertise of Twinsburg family law attorney Carol L. Stephan.

Source: “To Divorce Or Separate? Experts Weigh In,” by Claire Daniel, published at HuffingtonPost.com.

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